What a better day then Mother's Day to write my first blog for our website. Butterfly Circle of Friends was created from a mother’s love for her son. Michael was killed in Baghdad, Iraq on August 28, 2008. This makes it the 7th Mother’s Day I spend without one of the greatest joys in my life. Most certainly do not need a special day to remind me how much I enjoy being mother, mommy, mom and Momma Gonzo to many.
Below is a poem that I wrote for Michael in 2010. Since he was my firstborn I probably made the worries bigger then they really were. Until the last, you made me worry, when you went off to a war zone. As his mother, mom and mommy I could not protect him there. I wrote that all the worrying about Michael stopped and it did because the worst possible worry in life for me as a mother happened, the death of one of my children.
This makes mother’s day and everyday extra challenging but I have made a choice and found the courage to move forward with my life. Always when asked “How many children I have?” Proudly respond “Two” because I will always be Michael's mother, mommy and mom. I am "happy" to be a mother, mommy, and mom.
Michael needs me more then ever now, he needs me to keep him alive in memories.
A Poem For Michael……..
You Made Me Worry.......
by Ida Gonzalez, for Spc Michael L Gonzalez
Out of the corner of my eye I could see them.
Walking up my sidewalk.
Two Military personnel in their dress greens.
I wanted to run and hide.
But all I could do is ask, "What did Michael do?"
All I ever asked “What did you do Michael?”
You made me worry; I would not be a good mommy.
You made me worry, that you would not be healthy.
You made me worry, when you cried.
You made me worry, that you would not do well in school.
You made me worry, when you were not home by dark.
You made me worry, when you learned to drive.
You made me worry when you walked out the door at night.
You made me worry, when you joined the Army.
You made me worry, when you left for boot camp.
You made me worry, when you went to war.
All that worrying.... Stopped!!!
August 28, 2008
I cannot worry about Michael anymore, my faith lets me believe that he is in a better place with no more suffering and no more sorrow. Even if I did not have my faith, the best thing I could do for Michael now is take care of his mother.